The fact that I’m very handsome is pretty much a given. I have been elected as Prince Charming thrice in our class elections in grade school. Yes ladies, I’ve been Prince Charming thrice! Once would have been just out of good luck, twice out of a very good luck, but thrice? Let’s face it, I’m the Prince Charming you’ve been waiting for.
You think you don’t deserve someone perfect because you know your imperfections too well. Guess what? I’m here to tell you that you deserve a perfect gentleman like me. You deserve a guy who can peer through your soul and see the beauty underneath the surface. I am your Mr. Right, and although I know I’m perfect, I wouldn’t dare to point out all your imperfections, such as: how you’re slightly overweight, your flabby arms, your acne-ridden face, your funny voice, your rong speling, et cetera et cetera. I will learn to love all these little things, for like One Direction, “I’ve just let these little things slip out of my mouth… ’cause it’s you, oh it’s you, they add up to…” (That I listen to One Direction should be plus points for me, right?)
My mom says I’m intelligent, funny, and a really good guy. I think she’s telling the truth, because moms wouldn’t lie to their children. My dad says we share the same trait — that of being a ladies man — which is why he now has five wives, because he just can’t help but love women. He says I’m gonna be like him; being a ladies man is in my blood. I disagree with him though. Having five wives is not financially-wise; a man only needs one wife, and maybe a girlfriend or two in other places. But that’s just me. Whether I’m indeed a ladies man or not, you will soon find out.
I spend most of my time looking at myself in front of the mirror or at any surface that reflects my image. This should tell you that I’m a deeply reflective man. I love to contemplate about my awesomeness and my perfection. I see myself as a gift to the world, and as a prophet tasked of bringing good news and heavenly pleasure to ladies like you. I’m not in this world to make a difference; only losers would want that. I am here to multiply, and I look forward to partnering with you someday to fulfill this divine mission.
Guys call me by my name. But for you ladies, you can call me anytime. Meanwhile, while waiting for your call, I will busy myself with my favorite pastime — masturbating. I’m all for freedom of self-expression, and it is my personal belief that one should be free to pleasure himself without guilt or judgment. It goes without saying that whenever you are with me, you are free to unleash your wild side. We’ll have a hell lot of fun, and that’s 100% guaranteed.
Just one very minor thing: I’m broke. So you might have to foot the bill on our dates. I hope that’s OK with you.
Hurry! Contact me now! Limited slots only.
P.S. No fatties, please. Also, strictly between 18 and 25; I’m not into oldies.
Blazing through oblivion 